Thursday, July 8, 2010

One of my worst days....

I really do not know why. I am not supposed to feel this way...but I m just...
that's y, i m really very very very bad, bcz Im not supposed to feel this way...

My feeling now, is just like Germany: lost in the game, when they put high hopes on it...Spain just simply won Germany...

And, I thought I just missed something very important....

I did sth that I can consider stupid...silly....

After class, I straight away went to my room again...and I cried...
I really donno how....I have put so much effort, but this is wad I get....

I kept talking to myself...I still cannot believe wad had just happened...Im tat stubborn...
Why...can someone tell me why??

I stayed in my room, cried when im not supposed to......
classes of the day had just finished, and I thought I can "express" my feeling at the table...

I fell asleep...this is the best thing that I think I can do to forget many things...

After sleeping for 2 hours, I got up again, and went for that quite aimless ADP meeting...after tat, my life was aimless....until I went to the department of Students' Affairs to ask sth.....

Mr Michael said I have just missed a chance of becoming one of the members of the Students Representative Council, the highest council in the college. Many Staffs were expecting me to get nominated...but wad was I doing during the nomination?? I was crying in my room!!!! I told them that bcz i cant cope, tat's y don wanna join....but deep in my heart, it's the opposite way....

Feeling disappointed, I went back to my room again, start to on my laptop, and thinking how to type this post...Just right before I start, my cacated phone received a msg, showing that I have 11 missed calls....all of them were the staffs!!! I have reli disappointed them...they called me during the nomination, but I was crying and sleeping....haiz.........I have just missed sth tat i think i m not supposed to...it's too late...im seriously very stupid....




Father Lord God, I really wanna pray that you will take control of all the situations...calm me, grant me strength and wisdom, do wad is right and help me to learn to let go.....everything is just too sudden...Amen...


going for another preparation later.....God, grant me strength to go on with my days...Amen...






Monday, June 7, 2010

Nothing done.....


Gosh.


I have not been updating my blog. I will not provide any reason, but I just do not have the time and mood for blogging.


Today was supposed to be the last day of my final Pesta Preparation Camp. I can still remember the way when I made up my mind yesterday night when my mum asked me whether I still wanna continue staying for the camp or not. FYI, I will NOT leave any camp without giving myself a VALID reason. I am supposed to have my classes on as usual for today. Due to the flexibility of my program, lecturers will not take strict action on those who don't attend classes (I hope they won't, especially when they know you so well). I told my mum I will stay at first, but after thinking few more times, I had decided to get myself out from the camp -- I thought lessons were more important. The reason I wanted to go back to Nilai was because there were few more major event for me to settle: meeting for first semester welcome party, settle the food for party and be there for table tennis traning.


So I thought my decision was wise...


I don't have a chance to charge my phone from yesterday night until 9.30am. I was not able to call and message somebody whom I want to. When I start charging, I received a message, from my calculus lecturer:


Not having class on 10am-12pm.


Okay. This might be my fault for not bringing my charger to Band Camp to charge my phone, can't blame anybody. So as usual, I went for class from 1-3pm, after that rested in my room, and at 4.50pm, I have prepared to go for the welcome party meeting. The reason I held the meeting was to do the final checking on everything and to make sure nothing goes wrong on that day. I reached there at 5pm.


after 5 mins, nobody.

after 10 mins, nobody.

and after 15 mins, I have decided to rush off because table tennis traning will be on 5.30pm.


So, again, the meeting wasn't successful.


I went to the Department of Students' Affairs and ask whether there are any person in charge for sports equipment or not. I remembered 1 of them said that the hall is booked until 4th of June, so we can start using after that. But, somehow quite disappointed, they asked me to book the hall 1st and see how. I was like......everytime I go, everytime I get different answers, and I didn't know that I have to go through all this procedure before we can play. How sad.


If I were still in the camp, I think I can do more benefitial stuff. My day is concluded with only 1 class. I would rather stay in the camp than coming back to Nilai. I can check out my costume for singing competition and look for gloves with officers if I didn't go back.


I donno how. Nowadays get emotional very fast. Sorry guys, I will try my best to take control over it soon.


Seriously very down now. I wanna pray that I will not make any mistake in Band Competition. If not, I will feel even worse.....God, take away my worries and help me to do my best! Amen!





Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Hi Everyone!!


AT LAST, I have decided to change to blogspot..^^ I donno what is so nice and cool abt blogspot, but since everyone is using it, surely it has sth more benefitial than xanga..so, goodbye xanga, and...

WELCOME BLOGSPOT!!! =)